Saving Face or Sweeping Under the Rug?
Saving face is an integral part of many cultures, my country, Saudi Arabia, happens to be one of them.
When I read that the LBC offices are being closed down in Saudi, (which happened to be operating without a license for many years… bewildering? Yes, I know!)… that is not saving face, that is sweeping things under the rug. No one addressed the issue!
You see, if you have one Mazin Abduljawad, willing to talk publically about his escapades, then he is only the tip of the ice berg. He only did that because no one around him told him off, either directly or indirectly, on the contrary, he was probably impowered by those around him… and it so happens that a man with many females is called a stud, a player, or an alternative of that in almost all societies, (yes almost every red blooded heterosexual male, no matter where he comes from, wants to be Hugh Heffner, either in this life or the next). While a woman (in most societies) with many sexual partners is called…. many names, none of which are good. In my opinion, both should be judged with the same scale!
Whoever gave him (and those like him) the carte blanche to do as he/they please? Are they going to try to correct the problem from its roots? Or is closing the offices of LBC going to solve anything?
When women are killed by family members because they did what the boys already do, that is not saving face, that is not even sweeping under the rug, that is not piety or modesty, that is hypocrisy.
I also came across a site called saudiflaggers, they took upon themselves the mission, the dire mission, of flagging every inappropriate video which aims at defaming Saudi Arabia and its people. That is not saving face, that is sweeping under the rug. Plus they do not outline what “they” consider offensive or defaming… but then again… what is new? Will they flag the video of those ignorant guys car skating? No!… will they flag videos of drifters who get into accidents and kill those watching? No! I bet you know what they will target.
Denying that there is a problem will not make it go away by itself.
Blaming outside forces, like the internet, satellite TV, the Martians, or any other entity is not saving face, that is denial… and no, it is not the river in Egypt.
I am not defending anyone, but prostitution is not called the oldest trade in the world for nothing. It is available in every major city in the world (according to the taxi driver, remember him?), and can be found in Muslim countries, some disguise it none the less under different names and even call it “marriage”.
I recently saw a news report on why married Australian men frequent brothels (prostitution is legal in Australia). At least they are trying to get to the bottom of the issue, we on the other hand, either pretend we have no problems, which is bad… or do not know we have those problems, which is worse.
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Aug 14, 2009 @ 12:01:50
Do you have a URL for ‘saudiflaggers’?
I always like to know when people are clamoring to shut down my site.
Aug 14, 2009 @ 12:17:49
Thanks! I didn’t think so, since I’ve just been invited to come to the KSA to attend the KAUST opening. But you never know…
“Stay hopeful, but always check your six” (Famous quote from some fighter pilot or other)
Aug 14, 2009 @ 13:02:23
The essence of scapegoating is to drive the evil goat (or just the designated evil goat) out of the village as a way to expiate the sins of the whole community. Mazen is the scapegoat par excellence, right down to committing the “offense” ie public transgression of social mores,and so colluding in his own demise as all scapegoats do or are perceived to have done. Scapegoating is a way of preserving the status quo in society–the rest can continue on until next year when a new goat must be sacrificed, and each hopes not to be chosen as the goat, and tries not to volunteer.
Muslim countries suffer from collective denial (and not the river) of a number of issues including alcoholism and drug abuse (we’re Muslim so we don’t have these problems), STDs (ditto) and mental illness (still mainly in a curse/jinn/hex mode to be treated with prayer), etc. Still there is progress in these areas, and hopefully will be in these cultural/societal ones too.
Aug 14, 2009 @ 19:06:44
I remember long time ago when Australian prostitutes formed the world fist union for such profession. I thought it was hilarious
In normal circumstances you would’ve been 100% right my dear Qusay. But in this particular incident closing the offices was necessary for financial, social, and political reasons.
It deprives them from the income they make from local advertiser.
It cools down the public anger over what happened.
It makes a statement that no matter who the owner is. Such profanities are not tolerated.
Time to go to friday prayer.
Aug 14, 2009 @ 20:05:41
salam
And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way. [Q 17:32]
“…When a slave (of Allah) commits illegal sexual intercourse, he is not a believer at the time of committing it…” [SB 8.82.800e]
I’m posting these as a general remembrance. Please think of how the next generation will be affected by promiscuous acts. A baby asked “who’s your daddy”. Baby blanks. Baby look at other kids who have parents, while she has nobody to tell she won that school competition.
& I hope society please move on from being sexually obsessed. We need to race here – build hospitals, discover vaccines, meet energy demand, grow food, build undersea cables & satellites etc. I believe Arabs have wealth now. It’s the time to use it for the future. Invest in bulding civilization.
Honestly, I believe following lust is the easiest way to downfall. Hope my brothers & sisters will rise.
Aug 14, 2009 @ 23:05:44
Excellent post! I love this especially:
“When women are killed by family members because they did what the boys already do, that is not saving face, that is not even sweeping under the rug, that is not piety or modesty, that is hypocrisy.”
Not just for KSA, but ANYwhere that excuses men ’cause “well, ya know, boys will be boys” and damns women for the same deeds. Hypocrisy is right. Thank you for making that clear.
Aug 15, 2009 @ 18:14:56
facing the problem is not the Saudi way.. they just close their eyes and wish it disappears… lets face it.. we have a lot of sex braggers and don’t claim indecency to me before you flog the macho men in our midst that step on every women from their family on their way to conservatism.
Aug 18, 2009 @ 18:54:23
Great post!
Aug 14, 2009 @ 12:05:46
Anything for you John, and don’t worry, I do not think you are on their list
http://saudiflager.wordpress.com/
I also updated the post to reflect that.
Aug 15, 2009 @ 18:24:21
my last sentence was aimed at our macho men who think they have a duty to protect the women from the venoms of women liberation and rights.
Aug 18, 2009 @ 20:31:24
“Scapegoating is a way of preserving the status quo in society–the rest can continue on until next year when a new goat must be sacrificed, and each hopes not to be chosen as the goat, and tries not to volunteer.”
I agree, he is only a scape goat… something to show those that want someone to blame for the demise of the society.
Thanks
Aug 18, 2009 @ 20:34:11
Man, you always seem to comment before friday prayer
I agree with what you said Saud, but… these are not solutions… these are anesthetics… something to calm the thing down, but does it really provide a solution?
Aug 18, 2009 @ 20:38:54
paola, I hope they will rise also, what I am saying is that.. no solution was provided… to rise we have to face the problems, not hide them and ignore them.
Thanks for passing by
Aug 18, 2009 @ 20:43:53
Susanne430, you are welcome… I know, we are on the same wavelength, that whole “boys will be boys” excuse… u got it right.
Aug 18, 2009 @ 20:46:26
DW, thanks for your comment… we need to change the “Saudi way” of doing things… we are the Saudi’s who have to live in our future.
Aug 18, 2009 @ 20:47:03
Thanks SGIME