P0rn1

Yep, that is p0rn1 spelt with a zero and a one, to represent the digital age which made it easier for everyone no matter where they are to access massive amounts of p0rn, and due to that, almost everyone tried to copy Hugh Hefner and Larry Flint, I have not seen playboy mansions popping up anywhere, so I assume none were that successful, or maybe no one is that ostentatious anymore, who knows, but I saw this expose a while ago, and young women are making a lot of money working the webcams from their bedrooms.

Teenagers Men love to look at women, and p0rn in its variations from soft to hard is a multibillion dollar industry worldwide, the figures are huge and increasing according to family safe media.

The internet, well, you know, if the internet were a street or a real place… this is what it would look like, Dave Chappelle made a funny sketch about it, watch this. Basically p0rn comes to you, you do not even have to go to it.

Now when people say Saudi’s or other guys have p0rn on their phones… well, you cannot go to a gas station in Saudi to get the latest issue of triple-x or to the nearest video store and get the latest release from triple-x productions… so… what is a man to do? Not even car magazines have scantly clad girls standing next to a low rider on the cover for guys to look at on the magazine rack in the supermarket checkout line while waiting their turn and probably getting poked by their significant others in the side for not moving when the line moved because they failed to notice, while they swear they were looking at the men’s fitness magazine not the low rider magazine because it had an article on how to please her in ways she never experienced before… yeah I’ve seen it happen before, you guys know who you are… shame on you.

I am not making excuses for anyone, just an explanation. Other than that I will plead the fifth, I know I am not an American citizen and I am not living in the United States of America, but I will still plead the fifth :)

At the end of this post, I would like us all to hold hands or put them on our keyboards and say a prayer with this little girl.

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22. October 2009 by Qusay
Categories: Culture | 17 comments

Comments (17)

  1. I will plead the fifth as well looool

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  4. True story.

    A little long, but it involves cops. And p0rn, so all men will automatically be motivated to read it I guess :P

    As we all know expats in Saudi are required to carry around an iqama (residency permit) around with them at all times. I recently found out why. One fine day I was stopped at one of those checkpoints that seemed to be popping up everywhere.

    The officer asked me for my documentation. Lisence I had, Iqama I had conveniently forgotten at home. The result: police cheerfully informing me that I will be sent to jail.

    A police jeep arrived and I was to follow it to jail (interesting how I, now a criminal, am expected to follow the law and they trust me to drive myself to jail). On the way, I called up my brother, told him to come to jail with my iqama so we can clear all of this up.

    When I reached prison, they put me in a waiting area where I explained my borther would be coming any minute and clear the whole mess up. An official took down details of my personal information, as well as the contents of my pockets and wallet. When I pulled out my cellphone, an officer at the far corner of the gave me the strangest look ever. Freaked out, I went back to the seating area (thankfully not behind bars) to wait for my brother.

    As I waited, the creepy officer walks up to me.

    “Yaaa muhammad, 3indak XX” – “Hey Muhammad (generic and slightly derogotory term for asians), do you have ‘XX’”, he says, pointing to my cellphone.

    By XX, he obviously meant p0rn. I of course feigned ignorance as I laughed inwardly at the use of the term ‘exex’.

    “uhh, La2″ (umm, no), I said nervously.

    Correctly, he observed that I thought he was trying to bait me. He pulls out his own cellphone and activates a menu.

    “Shoof, ana 3indi XX” (Look, I have ‘XX’)

    I sat there in utter disbelief of the situation. A police officer showing me p0rn in jail. The officer took my bewildered expression to mean I was impressed by his display.

    “Min wain?” (Where are you from), he asked, smiling in pride.
    “Min Bakistan” (From Pakistan), I answered.

    He pulls back his cellphone and presses a few buttons on his cellphone… and starts another movie.

    “3indi Bakistani!!” (I have Pakistani!).

    I sat in shock as I realized this man obviously had a whole database of p0rn on hiss cellphone. From every nationality apparently.

    And then it dawned on me how he acquired his collection. Expats forgetting their iaqmas at home, being sent to jail, and transfering their own collections to the police.

    As my brother walked in and we cleared up the whole Iqama mess. I realized the true reason for the Iqama system.

    It’s not to hold expats indentured. Not to restrict their travel.

    It’s there to help Saudi police grow their p0rn collections.

  5. Congratulations on an excellent post with great links!

    That is one of the best explanations I have ever read–in fact the only non-ranting one–on the phenomenon of porn on Saudi phones or even Saudis’ reliance on internet porn.

    I note that based on the 2006 Search Engine Request Keyword Trends, Nordics look for “porn”, while Muslims/Asians look for “sex”. This correlates well with my clinical experience of having to ask for a sexual history while choosing euphemisms so as to not make Muslim men/Asians have a cardiac arrest (a coronary really wrecks the flow of a psychiatry interview/psychotherapy session).

    Speaking of all things psych:
    “and get the latest release from triple-x productions…” Freudian slip, subliminal messaging, or just “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”? LOL :) (not sure I should put a : P in a comment on this post).

  6. lol great post! We attended Avenue Q awhile back and my FAVORITE thing about it was the catchy little tune, The Internet is for P0rn. Seriously, all these months later, I still find myself humming it! Probably cuz it is so darn true.

    Nidal – ok so I LOVE You story. Hilarious and totally belivable! I am obvously going to share it and this blog on my recent post on this same subject.

    Thanks guys, you made me smile this sunny Friday morning!

    Oh and Qusay – I think there’s an Aussie equivalent to the fifth too, right? lol You’re covered!

  7. Pingback: Porn: The True Reason for Saudi Arabia's Iqama System | NidalM Photography

  8. Interesting. I think I can understand why viewing porn is halal for Muslims.

  9. Qusay–no fair pleading the 5th in any country on this account

    Susanne–viewing p0rn is halal? Is that why so many Muslim students do so on the uni computers?

    Anyone? This is news to me, and here I thought they were sinning, I mean being haram! ;)

  10. Qusay–off topic (sort of). I just completed a post on Blogging & Ethics on Tara’s blog and linked your blog in it a couple of times. I’d really like to know your opinion on this topic! Thanks
    http://taraummomar.blogspot.com/2009/10/blogging-ethics-part-i-fhws-elsi.html

    Saud and others: you too!

  11. Bernard Shaw once said: How do we expect virtue in society if we pay more for vice?

    He was talking about the prostitution in the “conservative” British society in the beginning of the twenteith century.

    I think all countries are doing the same…paying for porn or vice more…that’s what sells…and the hell with morals…..Americans and Europeans produce porno and we watch it…What a cultural exchange! Who said the East and the West can never meet? They sure agree that porn is an essentaial part of economy in America and Europe and of life in Saudi Arabia :)

  12. LOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL, man had he known you were a good photagrapher he would’ve asked if you had any homemade exex….

    I’ve been called Muhammad all the time, it replaced sadeeq (friend) a while ago, I hate to be called it, not because of the name but because of the way! It is not derogatory, just the Saudi way of calling you dude, mate, bro… etc

    Nice story, and as we say may you live and tell another one.

    Thanks Nidal

  13. NidalM–sorry, I brazenly read your cops + p0rn story.
    Hilarious!

    It is so reassuring to know the true purpose of the Iqama. I shall make sure to explain it in multiple languages on my upcoming blogospheric multi-lingual Iqama opus on Tara’s blog. I want all non-Saudis planning to immigrate to Saudi to bring as much porn as they can with them. Anything for the police data bank! LOL :)
    Alas Canadians will be hard pressed to bring authentic Canadian porn since according to the stats linked we are not producing a lot of our own. Perhaps they could pass as Americans, and use some of their world leading porn production to serve their Iqama role. :)

  14. No fair!

  15. I’ll do you one better :)

    I’ll compose a post about it on my blog. With pictures. (Fortunately all G rated), going up tomorrow :P

  16. Soooo competitive! LOL :)
    No worries the multi-lingual opus will be further enhanced by you elaboration on the Iqama AKA international p0rn provision visa. :) : P (just to be safe).

  17. Speaking of all things psych… I am still pleading the 5th :)

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