It was all the hype a few years ago, Gold’s Gym opened in Jeddah, and the crowds were just crazy about joining, the joining fees were out of the regular range, and so were the clientele, or they pretended to be.

Now that we are back, I decided to check it out. I went there, I was greeted, and was let on my own to go and explore the premises, I wondered why?

I was surprised that the ceiling was very low while going up the stairs, had I been just a little bit taller my head would’ve bumped every time I went up.

I went into locker room, there were two, one for “celebrities” and the other for regular folks like me. I saw the lockers had combination locks on them, which I did not notice until the next time I came for my free visit, none of them worked, and every member had to bring their own lock with them.

Going into the weight room, I saw the equipment, nice and clean, but the layout was not the best, and the lights were yellow, red and pink, with disco balls hanging from the ceiling and of course techno music, this was 1:30 in the afternoon, very little sunlight came in, and I was already depressed.

Next floor up, there are all the cardio machines and a little track looking down on the weight room, there is also a DVD store with no attendant and a small aerobics room, again this was 1:30 pm, dead time in almost every gym, except for gym rats who workout during their lunch hour.

After the tour I went down to see a membership consultant, it turns out that they were two ladies sitting in a side office, who looked surprised when I came in, even though the attendant opened the door for me and introduced me. That is why no one was with me during the tour, no women allowed.

So I took the info and comeback on another day and tried it.

The lights were not appropriate for a gym, lights were yellow/red/pink, walls were yellow, equipment is red, and the discoballs… not the best atmosphere.

The aerobics machines face the wall, nice new machines with tv screens on them, but facing the wall, maybe because I am familiar with “hitting the wall” I kept thinking of it since I got on the machine, I felt tired the moment I got on the machine, and that was the first thing I did.

All in all it could be a lot better, the parking is not the best, the lights should be changed, the discoballs need to go.

Then I stepped into the shower room, they had “shower gel” which was the cheapest liquid soap in the market, I am sure the “celebrities” do not smell like that after they leave.

From an investor’s point of view, I can tell you that, if I were approached to invest in a gym in Saudi, as much as I am addicted to gyms, I will not do it, and if it were a women’s gym, I will definitely not do it… and this is why.

Having been a member of gyms since my father noticed that his son was developing man/boy boobs at the age of 13 or 14 and the customary belly (and I can’t thank him enough for that, and other things) he enrolled me in martial arts classes, and then in a real gym with weights and treadmills and all that when I was a little older, I can tell you a thing or two about what needs to be done. P.S, I still have my bad months, like when my wife was pregnant, I looked pregnant also for emotional support , and while she lost most of it, I am still holding on to some.

It’s not like women do not have facilities to exercise in Saudi, they do, some are nice, some are nasty, but they are there… the latest and greatest was the gold gym in Jeddah, where it initially opened and every girl and her mama joined that gym. Due to that, they were snobby, conceited, and all the bad words that come with inflated egos that some business owners get when everyone wants their product.

Fast forward to a year later, when the buzz was over, and they start begging people to join, offers sent to mobile phones and telemarketers start working the phone lines, good luck with that, I know the people with new year’s resolutions when I see them, January everyone pays for a year’s membership, by February most don’t come, and mid year it’s just us gym rats again. Thats why I start my new year’s resolution in February .

What I’m trying to say is that the introduction of a class or two per week at girl’s schools will not solve any of the problems that most people think will solve. If I have a daughter in the future, and the time comes for her to go to school, and I had the choice of enrolling her in a school which has a PE class, I would enrol her in it (provided the school was good), but I would not expect that class to instill in her the importance of physical fitness, just like I would not expect my son to think that those one or two classes is all he needs.

Not everyone can afford to join a gym. That is true. There are alternatives which are public in major cities, some people use them, some abuse them, and some people need to get their asses kicked for bothering people that use them… that is something that I wish someone could deal with.

People in Saudi and around the world go on crash and fad diets, get gastric bypass surgery, buy the latest diet pills, just to avoid exercise, like the only benefit of physical fitness is aesthetic, I can’t blame them, you have to have a bit of masochism in you to punish yourself like that all the time, and marketing companies exploit that fact by telling you this machine needs to be used for 5 minutes every other day to make you look like the beautiful model they are showing… yes, and gullible people believe them… and the fool and his/her money are soon parted.

This is a worldwide epidemic, not limited to Saudi. And who would’ve thought anybody can be fatter than the Americans? Apparently Australians are!!!!

And if it is about sports teams… well only soccer is relatively well supported, and even that does not help… and last year’s Olympics, were a disgrace… I’m just going to leave it at that.